Dignity Lost: An Intimate Affair

Coal Black > Snow White.

dignitylost — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:00:36 +0000

It may come as a surprise to you, but America used to be very racist. Seeing something like this really puts it into perspective though, especially for someone like myself who was born in a far less ignorant time. This is an actual Warner Brothers cartoon from the WWII era entitled “Coal Black and the Sebben Dwarfs.” As if naming the main character Coal Black wasn’t enough, WB added some touches of illiterate black folk flair. See for yourself.

Honestly, I am going to have to come back to this at a later date and discuss how incredibly wrong this is on so many different levels. But for now, I am just going to write one thing. PRINCE CHAWMIN’.

Jonah Hill in a Leotard! Finally!

dignitylost — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:48:53 +0000

Vanity Fair did a piece on “Comedy’s New Legends” and they took some ridiculous pictures to accompany their story. I kind of just skimmed through the text, there appeared to be some big words and I get intimidated easily. But those silly pictures had me rolling! Look, that fat guy is fat in a flesh colored leotard! No, but seriously, these are pretty darn good.

Click on Jonah’s back fat to view the article and photo gallery.

I still don’t believe that one picture is Paul Rudd. I guess he really is such a bland looking white guy that it must be easy to mold him into whatever they want. Almost like a blank slate or a slab of clay. If I tried molding Rudd’s head out of clay it would end up looking like that bust of Lionel Richie in the “Hello” video.

Ghostface x MF DOOM.

dignitylost — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:37:50 +0000

Over at GorillavsBear.net they have posted the trailer to the new Grand Theft Auto game, and I guess there are still some maladjusted weirdos out there who are excited to rape and kill hookers in exotic new CGI locations. (What, not me.) But the real excitement should stem from the song in the trailer, which happens to be some new Ghostface over a supreme MF DOOM cut.

Click the image of Ghost and DOOM to hear the new snippet.

If my four-fifth had lips, I’d make it french kiss ya. -Ghostface

Kittens Inspired By Kittens.

dignitylost — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:21:23 +0000

Judging by the title of this Youtube clip, I am assuming there once was an original video entitled “Kittens.” But in my mind, this is the only video that could ever matter. This little girl is either A) Reading jokes her father wrote B) Really creative and bizarre or C) Autistic. I really don’t care either way, because pictures of kittens doing cute things makes me flutter around my room like a fairy. Or so says my dad.

It is propaganda like this that influenced me to “rescue” a kitten this past summer. What they don’t tell you is that these cute little creatures grow up to be arrogant, self-centered assholes who only eat, piss, shit, and hiss. Hence I am stuck living with a mirror-image of myself.

Mel Gibson Is Finger-Lickin’ Good.

dignitylost — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 16:29:02 +0000

You know his reputation these days. Completely effing crazy, Jew hater, Danny Glover’s closet lover. Fine, I made the last one up. But Mel Gibson made this fake movie trailer for “The Colonel” for Jimmy Kimmel Live and it is actually really hilarious. Maybe there is some good left in that vacuous shell of a body that used to sport the best Aussie-mullet ever. Take a look.

Introducing Sully Sullenberger! YESSS!

Ain’t Gonna Hurt Nobody.

dignitylost — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 16:19:31 +0000

Job applications this morning set to the tune of early 90′s carefree hip-hop. Enjoy.

Kid ‘N Play

LOL ROFL LMFAO?

dignitylost — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 22:21:31 +0000

Courtesy of Colin Dering.

RIP Slam Dunk Contest

dignitylost — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 19:56:52 +0000

A couple years back, the NBA actually eliminated the Slam Dunk Contest from the All-Star Weekend. Now it’s been back for a few, and it reminds me much more of the WWF (I’m old school like that) than the Contests of yester year. Two backboards? Phone booths and capes as props? This is just getting silly. I’m posting the highlights from last night’s contest, where 5’9″ Nate “Kryptonite” Robinson beat out 7’0″ Dwight “Superman” Howard by actually jumping over him. Ehh, I’m still unimpressed.

All the hoopla, the wardrobe changes and self-aggrandizing celebration dances really have helped alienate me completely from this competition. So, just to prove my point, I am going to post the 1988 Slam Dunk Contest, showcasing Michael Jordan versus Dominique Wilkins in what is widely regarded as the best ever. Number one in my heart, at least.

There just used to be something a little more graceful, a little more poetic about this contest. Now it is like everything else in the NBA, that “look at me attitude.” Plus, these guys are winning without the best dunker in the league even competing, Lebron James. I’m thoroughly disappointed and mildly irritated that this contest still gets as much coverage as it does. For me, it has been dead for years.

RIP Slam Dunk Contest.

Why I Wish I Lived In The 80′s.

dignitylost — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 19:17:00 +0000

Let’s get back to the ol’ bread and butter of this blog here. 1980′s Idol Worship. Here is just another reason why I wish I lived in the greatest decade to ever bring us assymetry and fluorescent colors.

Jim McMahon

Look at those shades. And that sweater. The only other thing this picture needs is a Swatch watch. And to think, this guy was considered a bad-boy by the NFL, not to mention was the quarterback of one of the toughest teams to ever grace the gridiron, the 1986 Super Bowl Champion Chicago Bears. This is why I wish I lived in the 1980′s. Dudes like this in outfits like that.

Sunday Gun-day!

dignitylost — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 18:48:17 +0000

I apologize for the week-long hiatus, I was attempting to be a grown-up and get a “real job.” But Sunday is here, I’m still an underachieving, twenty-something ne’erdowell, and the internet still births tasty morsels like this video.

Babes. Guns. Rock N’ Roll. Check it out.

All this video needed was a cameo from Bret Michaels and it would have been a white trash wet-dream.